Dear ReadWriteWeb, You FAIL at FaceBook!

Dear ReadWriteWeb,

You totally suck at being FaceBook. FaceBook is excellent at being FaceBook! So I don't understand why you, supposedly 'smart' web savvy guys, can be so utterly horrible at being FaceBook! How difficult can it be to be FaceBook, really? Mark Jerry Zuckerstein built facebook only using empty PBR cans and Ramen Noodles' flavor packets. You better get you shit together or you will FAIL more miserably then you already are!

Armitage

[ Via: ReadWriteWeb ]

Human-Animal Hybrids discovered in Australia

A colony of Human-Animal Hybrids has been discovered on an Island off the coast of western Australia.  Authorities believe that the Hybrids represent a set of failed genetic modification experiments.  It seems their twisted benefactor died unexplicably in the late 90's and the facility was deserted. All except for the current deformed inhabitants.

No not really, these bizzare creations are the works of Australian Artist Patricia Piccinini.  Donna Haraway describes Piccinini's work as "Speculative Fabulations for Technoculture's Generations". All I know is that this stuff freaks me out and I can't finish my lunch.

[ Source: Kontraband ]

50 Foot Spider Attacks Liverpool, England

This has got to be the coolest thing I have ever heard. In early September 2008, a mechanical spider dubbed 'La Princesse', walked through the city of Liverpool. Among other things, it shot flames, smoke, 'flung' people into the air, and spayed the public with water and snow. La Princesse weighs 50 tons, is made of metal and wood, is operated by 12 people and powered by complex hydraulics.

The fictional story behind the spider is that scientists arrived to investigate and transported it to their 'research base' to perform experiments. En route it escaped and terrorized the city. Pyrotechnics were required to prevent the spider from entering Liverpool's new concert stadium, Echo Arena. Music was played to try to calm the giant spider and finally, it nested at a derelict building, the Concourse Tower.

[ Source : Boston Globe ]

Thank St. Patrick that O'bama is Irish

I'm so thankful to the merciful St. Patrick that we have an Irish President.  Maybe now my people's culture and customs (drinking, fighting) can finally be accepted into American Society. In a gesture of acceptance of this new revelation, the White House has dyed its fountain green at Michelle Obama's request.

• Irish roots of Barack Obama uncovered
  
• White house fountains dyed Green

( AP Photo/Ron Edmonds )

The Finest American Automobile Ever Built

While Detroit is figuring out how to dig itself out of its own finacial mess, the answer to their prayers are right under their noses!  I'm proud to present.. the Chevy Cavelier 'Rollin Deep' Edition.

[ Source: Reddit ]

Will you be my Drunken Valentine?

I know you are all wondering what to get your honey for Valentine's Day this Saturday. Don't make the same mistake as last year!

So here are some ideas for those of you who still have no clue what you're doing:

• Happy Pucking Valentines Day
• Customized Adam and Eve Poster
• Geek Love LED
• Pink Tazer
• Smittens
• Silicone Butt Enhancer
  
• 10 Far-Out Valentine Gifts

Ninja Throwing Stars Own Corkboards, Co-Workers

Your co-workers may think twice about sending you worthless memos now that you are armed to the teeth and ready to destroy them (the memos of course).

Express your inner ninja not-so-stealthily with these Ninja Document Tacks.  Each comes in a package of 3 for $12.  Mine are already in the mail.  Now, someone just needs to make a katana letter opener.

If you like this, you should also checkout Style Crave's article on weapon inspired home decor. I'm currently saving for the Assault Rifle Chandelier.

[ Source: Style Crave ]

Were-Cow Discovered in Iraq! Wait, What?

GeekDad at Wired.com reports that two behavioral scientists from the Department of Psychiatry and Behaviours Sciences at UAE University have discovered several cases of Lycanthropy (Werewolf-ism) and one case of Were-Cow-ism. Here is an excerpt from the original article:

"The type of animal that the patients changed into were mainly dogs (seven cases) and only one case changed into a cow for the first time to report."

This was incredibly shocking to me (especially since I've always wanted to become a werewolf!), until I got to the bottom of the article:

"... Lycanthropy is the belief in the capacity of human metamorphosis into animal form... So, lycanthropy has less to do with an abundance of hair and a desire to devour raw flesh on a full moon. And, more to do with the belief that you can turn into another animal. Oh well, another of life's small disappointments."

[ Source: GeekDad ]

Gladiator Combat Dispute Resolution

What better way to resolve a dispute then to fight someone?  If you are anything like us, then you have a similar impulse every few minutes.  Well the brilliant folks at Gadget Epoint have made this a real possibility with their inflatable gladiator combat armor. Without the risk of prison or bodily injury,you can now express your blood lust safely and consequence-free!

Next time your wench talks back, hand her the black armor and tell her to defend herself.  You and a co-worker competing for a prestigeous project?  Throw down the gauntlet and turn your cubicles into a battle cage!  Unfortunately for them, you have allready had some practice with your now subservient giflfriend.

[ Source: Nerd Approved ]